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Negativity

June 19th, 2009 at 04:12 pm

I am a natural cynic but somewhere along the line I decided life was nicer when I thought the best of people so long as thinking the best of them didn't hurt me. As a result, I tend to be a fairly upbeat person.

Occasionally though I will encounter people in forums or real life that simply feel the need to think the worst of everyone and everything. Frankly, every time I encounter someone like that, I find it depressing. Unfortunately, I think it can also make me negative if I don't take a step back and realize that its happening.

So if I have been negative, I apologize. I think I am going to give up on the forums here for awhile because I really don't have anything constructive to say.

I'm a spender that is saving for retirement and trying to get out of debt and stay out of debt. I think the forums have really become more focused on the people who are natural savers to whom self deprivation comes naturally. Hopefully the blogs will stay focused on people's attempts to save money and pay off debt.

8 Responses to “Negativity”

  1. Ima saver Says:
    1245429839

    I hope you don't quit blogging. I enjoy your posts. I think some of us are more natural savers because of our background. My father died when I was young and we had very little money to live on. So, I grew up in a family that was very careful with money.
    I think you are doing a good job. It is only natural to want more things when you are young.

  2. ceejay74 Says:
    1245430890

    I agree; I think the most-frequent posters on the forums are very harsh, and I think there are ways to express what they want to without being so, but if you try to tell them that, they accuse you of trying to stop them being honest. I only dip my toe in the forums occasionally, because when I do post questions there I do get some advice, but mostly I get criticism, comments about how huge my debt is (like I didn't notice), and people passing judgment on my relationship/lifestyle choice.

    I agree with Ima; definitely stay here in the blogs section! It's much more supportive and helps me stay positive; I know what you mean about other people's negative attitudes making your own negativity resurface. I have quit several forums because they were populated by monsters who were turning me into a monster too, whenever I posted on them.

  3. Broken Arrow Says:
    1245436381

    Hmm, now you have me wondering what this is about, and at the risk being self-centered, if it has anything to do with me.

    I tend to be a um cynic as well. Actually, it's hard for me to see the "positive side" of anything. That's also why I have to constantly force myself to say, "on the bright side".... So, perhaps I contribute to the general negativity of the forums and the blogs as well.

    On the other hand, boys tend to "play" a little differently, and I think the majority of the forum members are male.... Males are a bit more competitive and critical, you know, generally speaking. And as a guy I haven't noticed anything bad, but then, I'm a guy right? And for all I know, because I'm a guy, I may have contributed to that environment.

    If I did, I'm sorry. I remember that the forums used to be a very caring and supportive place. I think it's still like that to some extent, but I agree it's not what it's used to be.

    I don't think I'm a natural frugal either. I know I never was once a upon a time, and I still struggle with it now.

    Anyway, I hope that you will decide to stay somehow. I think the community is great only because great people stayed and helped make it that way. With the forum stuff, I hope that you will just ignore us boys being boys. Big Grin

  4. gamecock43 Says:
    1245449005

    I see some negative posts and see some judgmental comments from time to time but didn't ever think it was a problem. I will have to pay more attention to what I write and keep an eye out on other posts. I am sad you no longer feel satisfied with the blog site, but if it doesnt help then it doesnt help. Come back anytime. I enjoyed all your posts about house/appliance buying, it taught me a lot.

  5. baselle Says:
    1245457853

    Stick around on the blogs - I think the blogs are for us experiential learners out there - we all are posting about real life and what happens to us. If I can talk about what I observe and make connections and read about what other people observe and the connections they make, I get much more out it.

    I rarely go into the forums. Haven't the energy. Talk is cheap if your life is perfect.

  6. Caoineag Says:
    1245462138

    Lol, relax guys I am not going anywhere. I love the blogs, its the forums I don't think I can handle anymore. Frankly, I am saddened when anyone leaves the blogs because I think they are extremely supportive and I enjoy them immensely.

    As to you BA, I was not referring to you nor have I EVER seen you contribute to the negativity. I apologize if I wasn't clear, I promise I wasn't trying to panic anyone.

    As to the forums, I am not sure they are any more negative than usual but combined with the general negativity of the current economic conditions (and everyone deciding that the best response is starvation and deprivation even when it doesn't really impact them), I just can't handle that anymore.

  7. boomeyers Says:
    1245463367

    I gave up on the forums a long time ago. I am a blog girl. And I am a crazy spender. I do great, save $2 and celebrate by spending $7? Ya know? Someday I will get where I'm going, but without you guys putting up with me, I would be pretty lost!

  8. fern Says:
    1245515656

    I like the blogs myself, and don't have enough time to wander over to the forums often. I actually write more (and get more feedback on)issues and events that aren't always directly tied to personal finance.

    If i had to characterize the people here, yes, there are some natural savers here, but i think more people are struggling with debt issues and looking for support.

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